Lately I have become anxious---I don't know all of the causes for this. There are different things going on in my life that can make me anxious....but I was wondering why I keep letting my heart become gripped with fear.
This week as I have been talking to friends and reading a book on "A Praying Life" by Paul Miller, I have realized some of the causes for this grip of anxiety taking over my heart.
First of all in my prayer life I stopped praying with and through scripture. Paul Miller says this was a habit called lectio divina which was developed by the early church. "By praying slowly through a portion of Scripture, I was allowing Scripture to shape my heart."
I used to do this every day. I used to write Scripture on 4 by 6 index cards that came in a spiral binding. I would write the Word of God that spoke to me in my devotions, or perhaps that I heard preached, or taught and then I would pray slowly over the verses. Beth Moore has a book that gives some guidance and practice in this area. ANYWAYS I now realize I need to get back to this practice.
Secondly I have seen my need to drop being cynical--(which sometimes happens--and I pull away with a stoic attitude), and to be like a Child. I like what Miller says on this when he discusses how he was praying through Psalm 23 --"Both the child and the cynic walk through the valley of the shadow of death. The cynic focuses on the darkness; the child focuses on the Shepherd." I have been focusing on the darkness, and not the Shepherd. I know, when I reflect on past trials that have been very difficult trials, there is the time when the Shepherd's presence is so powerful that as Miller says , the cynicism simply vanishes.
So right now---I need to work on praying through Scripture. I need to become more childlike. And last of all I need to be super frequent in my prayers as soon as I realize I am becoming anxious.
Last of all--spending time with my fellow acountability friends really helped to restore my peace! Thank the Lord for Christian fellowship.