Walking with the suffering CHANGES US

NPR had an interesting interview with the geophysicist and spiritual thinker Xavier Le Pichon. I liked some things he said about suffering/community/and humanity. (the whole interview is here http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/2009/fragility/transcript.shtml I am not saying I agree with all of what he says, but some of the things I found helpful.

Le Pichon " first became interested in geology in six months he spent as a child in a concentration camp in French Indochina, modern-day Vietnam. He later helped create the field of plate tectonics and pioneered exploration of plate boundaries in the ocean depths.

He and his wife raised their family in intentional spiritual communities centered around people with mental disabilities"




Mr. Le Pichon: You have this kind of big awakenings when the big catastrophe happens, either a collective one like a war or major accident, but it can be also a tragedy inside the family, not just outside. And they may react in a way that you cannot predict. Sometimes it's very bad. Sometimes it opens them up. So it's something difficult but my experience is that once you enter into this way of, I would call it companionship, you know, walking with the suffering person that has come into your life and that you have not rejected, then your heart progressively gets educated by them. You know, they teach you a new way of being.

Ms. Tippett: Right. Your heart gets educated. I like that.

Mr. Le Pichon: Yes. We have to be educated by the other. Our heart cannot be educated by itself. I mean, my heart cannot be educated by myself.


Mr. Le Pichon: It can only come out of a relationship with others. And if we accept to be educated by the others, to let the other explain to us what happens to them, how they feel, which is completely different from what we feel, and to let yourself immerse into their world so that they can get into our world, then you begin to share something which is very deep. You will never be the person in front of you, but you will have created what we call communion, the capacity to share at a very deep level. And I feel that that is the essence of life and that's what Jesus came to teach us. Learn how to enter into communion with your neighbors, the way he called it, neighbors. And then you will discover something completely new.

HE ALSO HAS AN ESSAY THAT DESCRIBES WHAT HIS DAD WENT THROUGH WHEN HIS MOM HAD ALZHEIMERS--HERE IS A PART--IT IS CALLED "Ecce Homo ("Behold Humanity")"
by Xavier Le Pichon (THE WHOLE THING IS HERE-- http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/2009/fragility/essay-eccehomo.shtml#poem-prudhomme
)

What my mother and father experienced together during her long and painful illness helps us to understand a little better the nature of this mysterious transformation of relationships which comes when we welcome handicap, suffering and illness. If this welcome is made with dignity and love, the person we welcome becomes the one who leads us into a new deepening of our true humanity. That person changes us deeply as she also changes the nature of the community around them. My mother who had played such an important role during her active life to form the bonds that unified our family had at the end of her painful life an even greater influence in maintaining our unity and in deepening the heart of my father while she appeared to be utterly powerless. One can say that she radiated much more love than what she had received. She had revealed to those who had welcomed her with love a new depth of their humanity. They now better understood that they had a heart and could only find happiness in love

Enjoying my flowers

These roses above have been delightful. They grow long lanky branches and are wrapping around some of our other bushes. They are a carpet rose and I love the way they continue to put out blooms----these have replaced our hard to care rose bushes that I liked, but these do not require much care!

I love the wild flowers and have so enjoyed the extra ones we planted this year!!

The impatiens have done well in these containers so we hope to plant them next year as well!

When facing hard situations

Helpful advice that I jotted down and now I can't remember from whom---either Paul Tripp or Paul Miller

when going through hard times remember:

1. I am betrothed to Christ
2. He is preparing me for a wedding
3. I need faithfulness to Christ
4. Don't be short-sighted or self-absorbed
5. God's goal is not necessarily to change the situation , but to change me. Ask:
What do I need to learn?
What is my spiritual myopia?
What do I need to change?

How to stop the itching of a mosquito bite

Well--I can not believe this worked, but it did. I will have to try it some more in the future to see if it always works. I previously used benedryl anti-itch cream for the mosquito bites,but it wasn't working very well. My daughter had told me about using deodorant on the bites. Soooo since I have a few bites that have been extremely itchy and the anti-itch cream was not faring to well, I tried some SECRET deodorant and Wow--it worked immediately. I will have to see if this continues to work.

Beach fun with the grands and visit to the greatgrand parents

We had a nice visit from the kids and they were able to visit the grandparents and greatgrandparents,-- plus get a nice evening at the beach. It was Alden's first time at the beach. This was very relaxing. The kids arrived and we went for a picnic supper to the beach.

The mosquitoes were active at the picnic tables, but the beach was great.

This was Alden's first time at the beach and he was gung ho! He will turn one at the middle of July.

Heading for the water!

The first taste!

WOOOHOO

Rhianwen was a bit afraid of the wave action and wanted to climb on Mommy for safety and fun.

Gramps relaxed with a book.

Skipper relaxed with a book too!

Rhi covered her feetThe water was so nice and warm, too!

Castle fun

I love the raised arms of the shadow and Alden Sand and booooogers

A fun hole!

Alden loved the hole too.

A baby pouch!










Looking at our field of wild flowers.

The gnome home

Water fountain fun in the back yard

Visiting great-gram

Visiting GReat grandpa

Watering some of the wild flowers and herbs

A job well done???

We had a weird weekend. The people changing the oil filter on my car broke it off--and I have to wait 4 days for a replacement cap. SOOOO--no car for a while. We also received some hard news for SKipper and ROTC stuff--not sure what will happen with all of that since he has not been able to pass his college math course which meant he could not graduate from college!! He has made 5 attempts to complete the math---he just can't do it!! We are looking into what this may mean (he had a ROTC scholarship)......we are praying.

Unfashionable

I have just started reading "Unfashionable" by Tullian Tchividjian, and I am enjoying it so far. He entered a church and says, "the transcendent presence of God punctured the roof, leaving me--like Isaiah when he entered the temple--awestruck and undone...It wasn't some carefully orchestrated performance (which, believe me I would have seen right through). Rather, the people of God were simply honoring God as God....serious seekers today aren't looking for something appealing and trendy. They're looking for something deeper than what's currently in fashion. ...Younger generations don't want trendy engagement from the church; in fact , they're suspicious of it. Instead they want truthful engagement with historical and theological solidity that enables meaningful interaction with transcendent reality. They want desperately to invest their lives in something worth dying for, not some here-today- gone-tomorrow fad."

That is the same thing that God used to open my eyes to Christ when I was 16.

The Monkey life

We love our monkeys--they go on trips with us and they have their own blog--they especially love climbing the mountains in various locations ;-)..... Below is the newest addition .....he has a shocked expression, but to learn why you will have to go here:

http://monkeybusiness-nannykim.blogspot.com/2009/06/aldie-boys-monkey.html

Enjoying a little mtn retreat

It is our 32 anniversary and we are on a delightful get-away ;-)

Skip's Quiet Birthday celebration

Skipper turned 22--we had a very quiet celebration with Grandpa. Skipper did get a series of American Heritage DVD's about the early history of the founding of the US---really so amazing--many things our history books don't tell us!!

Almost Summer

We planted a patch of wild flowers this year and I am really enjoying their bright colors. It is almost Summer and I am going easy on blogging ;-)

Prayer attitude in suffering

A woman who is in her 30's and who is reaching the end of her life has a wonderful video here:

http://deathisnotdying.com/fullvideo/


One statement she made that may be a quote from someone else (I'm not sure) is:
"God allows in his wisdom what He could prevent by his power."

This is helpful for me. Also helpful for me is Paul Miller's statement that God is weaving a larger story (see post for may 20th on this--)and that I have 2 approaches to a praying life:

NO STORY

Bitter
Angry
Aimless
Cynical
Controlling
Hopeless
Thankless
Blaming OR

Story

Waiting
Watching
Wondering
Praying
Submitting
Hoping
Thankful
Repenting

So my goal, of course , is to be in the story that God is weaving and bowing before God with the pieces of my life. And praying in the way I should--having the right attitude.

Seize the Day? or Seize His garment

I like this thought!! VERY MUCH!

"If you try to seize the day, the day will eventually break you. Seize the corner of his garment and don't let go until he blesses you. He will reshape the day." (Paul Miller)

God is weaving our individual stories

I found this to be a great way to look at my life and to look at hard times in my life. God is truly beautiful.

Paul Miller talks about the fact that God is weaving a story with our lives...We need to look for the Storyteller. Look for his hand and then pray in light of what you are seeing. Stay in the story. Don't shut down when it goes the wrong way.

Sometimes when we say "God is silent", what's really going on is that he hasn't told the story the way we wanted it told. He will be silent when we want him to fill in the blanks of the story we are creating. But with his own stories, the ones we live in, he is seldom silent".

"When confronted with suffering that won't go away or with even a minor problem, we instinctively focus on what is missing, such as the lost coats and the betrayal in Joseph's story, not on the Master's hand. Often when you think everything has gone wrong, it's just that you're in the middle of a story. If you watch the stories God is weaving in your life, you, like Joseph, will begin to see the patterns. You'll become a poet, sensitive to your Father's voice."

Every one has their desert

I like what Paul Miller says about the desert place in our lives:

"God takes everyone he loves through a desert. It is his cure for our wandering hearts, restlessly searching for a new Eden. Here's how it works.

The first thing that happens is we slowly give up the fight. Our wills are broken by the reality of our circumstances. The things that brought us life gradually die. Our idols die for lack of food......

The still, dry air of the desert brings the sense of helplessness that is so crucial to the spirit of prayer. You come face-to-face with your inability to live, to have joy, to do anything of lasting worth. Life is crushing you.

Suffering burns away the false selves created by cynicism or pride or lust. You stop caring about what people think of you. The desert is God's best hope for the creation of an authentic self.

Desert life sanctifies you. You have no idea you are changing........
The desert becomes a window to the heart of God. He finally gets your attention because he's the only game in town....................Without realizing it, you have learned to pray continuously. The clear, fresh water of God's presence that you discover in the desert becomes a well inside your own heart.
The best gift of the desert is God's presence."

I have found this to be very very true in my life. ....and in the lives of my friends. God really uses these deserts (and he sometimes literally and figuratively did so with Jacob, Moses, Jesus, Daniel etc). It is amazing how God can drive us to Himself.

What do you think?

one point in our praying

Paul Miller states,

"But the point of prayer is shifting control from you to God. Moreover, doesn't the Father want all of us to become more like his Son."

"Now imagine if I were like Jesus, dependent on my heavenly Father for wisdom, grace, and courage---wisdom to know how to interact with my son, grace to do it without a demanding spirit, and the courage to actually do it."

I think this is part of what it means to abide in Christ---praying in every situation in dependence upon Him---shifting my control to Him.

What do you think?

beauty as we age--Dostoyevsky

I love this quote from Dostoyevshy's "Brothers Karamoazov " --about old age


" .....the fiery blood of youth gives way to the gentle serenity of old age. I bless the rising sun each day, and my heart sings to it as of old, but now I love its setting even more, its long slanting rays and the quiet, gentle, tender memories that come with them, the dear images from the whole of my long and blessed life---and over it all Divine Truth, tender, reconciling, and all-forgiving! My life is drawing to a close. I know that, I feel it. But I also feel every day that is left to me how my earthly life is already in touch with a new, infinite, unknown but fast-approaching future life, the anticipation of which sets my soul trembling with rapture, my mind glowing , and my heart weeping with joy....."

God's goal for our lives when involved in problems

I like this thought by Paul Tripp--

"We tend to be shortsighted and self-absorbed. We forget that God's primary goal is not changing our situations and relationships so that we can be happy, but changing us through our situations and relationships so that we will be holy."

His goal is that we have the joy of knowing Him better.

Help for my anxieties--lectio devina!

Lately I have become anxious---I don't know all of the causes for this. There are different things going on in my life that can make me anxious....but I was wondering why I keep letting my heart become gripped with fear.

This week as I have been talking to friends and reading a book on "A Praying Life" by Paul Miller, I have realized some of the causes for this grip of anxiety taking over my heart.

First of all in my prayer life I stopped praying with and through scripture. Paul Miller says this was a habit called lectio divina which was developed by the early church. "By praying slowly through a portion of Scripture, I was allowing Scripture to shape my heart."

I used to do this every day. I used to write Scripture on 4 by 6 index cards that came in a spiral binding. I would write the Word of God that spoke to me in my devotions, or perhaps that I heard preached, or taught and then I would pray slowly over the verses. Beth Moore has a book that gives some guidance and practice in this area. ANYWAYS I now realize I need to get back to this practice.

Secondly I have seen my need to drop being cynical--(which sometimes happens--and I pull away with a stoic attitude), and to be like a Child. I like what Miller says on this when he discusses how he was praying through Psalm 23 --"Both the child and the cynic walk through the valley of the shadow of death. The cynic focuses on the darkness; the child focuses on the Shepherd." I have been focusing on the darkness, and not the Shepherd. I know, when I reflect on past trials that have been very difficult trials, there is the time when the Shepherd's presence is so powerful that as Miller says , the cynicism simply vanishes.

So right now---I need to work on praying through Scripture. I need to become more childlike. And last of all I need to be super frequent in my prayers as soon as I realize I am becoming anxious.

Last of all--spending time with my fellow acountability friends really helped to restore my peace! Thank the Lord for Christian fellowship.

How business can tie in with simplicity

I am reading a good book by Paul E. Miller on , "A Praying Life". I think this paragraph has helped me see how business and simplicity can go together....I have often thought about how busy Jesus' life was and tried to reconcile that with trying to live a simple life.

"The quest for a contemplative life can actually be self-absorbed, focused on my quiet and me. If we love people and have the power to help, then we are going to be busy. Learning to pray doesn't offer us a less busy life; it offers us a less busy heart. In the midst of outer busyness we can develop an inner quiet. Because we are less hectic on the inside, we have a greater capacity to love... and thus to be busy, which in turn drives us even more into a life of prayer. By spending time with our Father in prayer, we integrate our lives with his, with what he is doing in us. Our lives become more coherent. They feel calmer, more ordered, even in the midst of confusion and pressure." THIS WAS VERY HELPFUL AND I CAN SEE THAT is TRUE WITH THE WAY JESUS LIVED....IN THINKING OF SIMPLICITY ...THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN TIE IT IN WITH A BUSY LIFE.

Why failure can be good for us.

This was something I found that was helpful in dealing with our failures. These are a few of the notes I took. I found this sermon by Lane Craig here--but you have to register to listen to it: http://www.reasonablefaith.org/site/PageServer?pagename=audio_visuals#talks

Lane Craig was studying in German for his Doctorate in Theology and he failed his oral exams. He was utterly crushed....couldn't understand why God would allow this etc. Why after all this time and effort he didn't get his doctorate? But some of the things he learned from this failure was what was of priority in his life. He realized that the most important thing in life was relationship to God and to family. That true success was not power, wealth or fame. That spiritually getting to know God better was true success and that learning to really know God in Christ and being a success in the Lords eyes was just that....He said that in God's plan for success for us, Failure could be part of the plan--How we go through failure is important--do we go through it with bitterness, depression, despair? OR do we go through it with faith, courage, dependence on God?True success is loving God and Man...we need to give thanks to God not for our failure , but in our failures. We also need to learn different lessons, even if we don't know why God allowed it. We need to learn what our reaction should be, as a person of faith. We need to learn what Character traits we should have and what we did or could have done differently. We need to learn never to give up----here he refers to the struggles T. ROOSEVELT had growing up.....and how I think he was the only president to have earned the Medal of Honor on the battlefield. He tells of the quote of Roosevelt of daring greatly ----and how it is better to try great things and fail than to be timid-- (the actual quote was great)--and he urges us to stay in the Arena, Ask God for strength to go on---learning endurance....trusting God to work all for our good! Lane Craig failed to get his doctorate, but Germany lets you go for the oral test a second time. So Craig studied for a year!! went back, and earned his doctorate---plus he had such a wonderful deeper knowledge because of it. So sometime listen to the sermon in the future--it is about 40 minutes.

Weekend with the Grands/ and Duke Garden

Rhi had just arrived home from swimming lessons to find us there--look at her exuberant run!

Of course we had to do some reading!

There was a GRAND Concert!! Such splendid talent! A duet ,no less....

Now, ALDEN, this bread is for Mr. and Mrs. Mallard!

All the monkeys wanna picnic dinner.

Hmmm, the mallards were full so the geese took over.

Aldie gets a view of his meal (but he ended up getting into everyone elses!)

Notice, Alden exploring in the BIG lunch box!!

This is what he really wanted!

What ancient monkeys!

Just taking it easy.

A rock is a delight!

Good for teething.

All done with the meal, now what comes next?

Wonderful displays...

Caterpiller fun

Nothing like Wisteria!!

Resting for a bit.

One dazed girl, wearing Grandpa's Hat!!

PS. THE SECOND SONG ON MY PLAYLIST (FOR NOW ANYWAYS) CALLED, TO BE FREE (OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT) SOOOOOOOOO REMINDS ME OF RHIANWEN AND CHILDHOOD!!

Easter Story cookies

Easter Story Cookies
(to be made the evening before Easter)


Ingredients:
1c whole pecans
1t vinegar
3 egg whites
pinch of salt
1c sugar
ziplock bag
wooden spoon
mixing bowl
wax paper
masking tape
Bible
patience


Preheat oven to 300o (this is important to do first thing!)


Place pecans in ziplock bag and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested, He was beaten by the Roman soldiers. Read John 19:1-3.


Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 teaspoon vinegar into mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross He was given vinegar to drink. Read John 19:28-30.


Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life. Read John 10:10-11.


Sprinkle a little salt into each child’s hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus’ followers, and the bitterness of our own sin. Read Luke 23:27.


So far, the ingredients have not been very appealing. Add 1 cup of sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him. Read Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16.


Beat ingredients with a mixer on high speed for 12-15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the color white represents the purity God sees in those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus. Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3.


Fold in broken nuts. Drop small spoonfuls onto cookie sheet covered with wax paper. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus’ body was laid. Read Matthew 27:57-60.


Put the cookie sheet into the oven, close the door, and turn the oven OFF. Give each child a piece of masking tape and seal the oven door. Explain that Jesus’ tomb was sealed. Read Matthew 27:65-66.

GO TO BED! Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus’ followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. Read John 16:20 & 22.


On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Easter, Jesus’ followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. Read Matthew 28:1-9.


HALLELUIA, JESUS HAS RISEN!

Religion verses Faith

I like this quote by Mike Mason:

"But we should never mistake our human interpretation, our theology, for the living Person. To cling to the former is religion; to embrace the latter, come what may is faith."

We always need to make sure we are worshipping him and not our "religion". Perhaps the Pharisees erred here.

gnomes

I love gnomes . This pair above I had to get for my birthday--they made me smile and think of nice romantic times with my hubby. When we were dating, he made me read the Hobbit (and the Lord of the Rings trilogy)--which I do believe are relations to the gnomes HA

I .made a little doorway into the tree and a shell path

This is the view from my widow--it makes me SMILE! I accidentally had posted this on my recipe blog---I hope no one saw it THERE!!!! I deleted it of course!

apologetics : helpful websites

Here are some very helpful apologetic sites---all kinds of resources on them---some with debates , etc.



<>< http://www.conversantlife.com/ http://www.pleaseconvinceme.com/ http://www.reasonablefaith.org/site/PageServer http://www.str.org/site/PageServer http://www.soulation.org/
http://www.probe.org/site/c.fdKEIMNsEoG/b.4213839/k.BF4B/Home.htm
http://theapologeticsbookstore.com/ http://www.trueu.org/<><

Beauty again

I am reading a good book called, Apologetics for a New Generation . Each chapter is written by a different person. It has a lot of interesting things to think upon.

I like how they discuss beauty. I have read similar things in other books. This quote was interesting:

"When the Word became flesh, we beheld His glory. Thank God He did not appear as so many utilitarian churches appear today! ON their good days, the followers of Jesus Christ burst with beauty and romance. We created Rococo and Gothic art and architecture. Whenever Christianity begins to fade, men begin to become severe, harsh, and practical. ..........Every year of communism saw ever more severe and practical concrete flats being foisted on colorful Saint Petersburg....."

Perhaps it is true that the closer a society is to the truths of the word the more artistic it is....I am not sure. Europe in the past did create lots of art and music and books and the Muslim world pales in comparison so it may be a valid point.

sweet lamb of God

I woke up this morning with this song on my mind. I think it is irish / celtic/ or someting. This is the only version I could find online. You need to TURN OFF THE SIDEBAR MUSIC TO LISTEN ----The words are:

Your only Son
No sin to hide
But You have sent Him,
From Your side
To walk upon this guilty sod
And to become the Lamb of God

Your gift of Love
They crucified
They laughed and scorned him as he died
The humble King
They named a fraud
And sacrificed the Lamb of God

Chorus:
Oh Lamb of God, Sweet lamb of God
I love the Holy Lamb of God
Oh wash me in His precious Blood
My Jesus Christ the Lamb of God

I was so lost I should have died
But You have brought me to Your side
To be led by Your staff and rod
And to be called a lamb of God

Chorus

Oh wash me in His precious Blood
My Jesus Chris the Lamb of God

South African praise

You need to turn the sidebar music off to listen to this!!! This is a great Easter Song!

Feeling like a blob of play dough

Sometimes I feel like a dead blob of playdough.

---I feel like I am being hit from all sides by different things---by people, circumstances, the Lord ;-) . Sometimes it feels like I am just this dead blob going through the day and things are swirling around me. I find I sometimes let myself slip into Stoicism and that is not good. I need to be alive to the day and to the moment. I need to cultivate interaction with all of life. I will have to pray more carefully moment by moment so that I don't slip into a dead blob attitude!! [the monkey has a medicine dropper----my medicine is time in God's felt presence]

Thoughts on changing my view as I age

As I have been aging, I have been seeing things from a different perspective.

I have really been convinced of the importance of seeking to walk with, in , through Jesus each day. When I do this , I am more at peace because I feel I am in His Will and I am doing what He wants with my time. Whatever things come into my daily life are coming from and through His hands---He controls these and He will give me the help to face each one.

But I have found Romans 7 to be true---we do not often do what we want to do--there is a warfare.

I also have found that when I look back on my life I see more and more of the sins and mistakes I have made.......mostly it revolves around choosing self above others. When I am so into self , I do not realize what or how I am affecting others. I think of the old song about More of Jesus I would know----That is it in a nutshell---

When others , such as our children, look at my life, they see it differently then I do. This shows me how each of us can have a different perception of the same event and how important it is for me to ask for Christ's eyes, not my eyes. I am so glad for His redemption---His washing of our sins---for even when I am trying to do my best, I am failing.

Sex--a point well made-ties in well with Love Dare 32

As everyone knows, there is a difference between men and women in this area---the whole Mars verses Venus thing applies here. Stormie Omartian makes some good points in her book called THE POWER OF A PRAYING WIFE. I think this is one area WE AS WOMEN FAIL AT understanding---I know I have---here is what she says:

" For a wife, sex comes out of affection. She doesn't want to be affectionate with a man who makes her feel angry, hurt, lonely, disappointed, overworked, unsupported, uncared for, or abandoned. But for a husband, sex is pure need. His eyes, ears, brain, and emotions get clouded if he doesn't have that release. He has trouble hearing anything his wife says or seeing what she needs when that area of his being is neglected. Wives sometimes have it backwards. They think, We can have sex after we get these other issues settled. But actually there is a far greater chance of settling the other issues if sex comes first.

"That's why it's important to make sex a matter of priority in your marriage. Whether all conditions are perfect or whether you feel like it or not isn't the point. The point is meeting the needs of your husband and keeping communication lines open. A man can easily be made to feel insignificant, beaten down, discouraged, destroyed, or tempted in this area of his being. There is probably no more important means of fulfillment for a man, and no area where he is more vulnerable"

I think that the above statement is so true---we as women need to look at this in the that light---

Panting for God--relationship and suffering and ministry

I reread one of my old posts from September 07 ad this has been so helpful to me--so I am placing it again here for me to think on.

Larry Crabb writes (in the book that is mentioned in the post below), about a book called The Impact of God, by Iain Matthew--which speaks about a 16th century monk. Crabb talks about how this book has affected his life. Here are some of the things he says that I felt I have been learning also and that are worth thinking about:

"So often our relationship with God is not about knowing Him, but using Him. As a psychologist, I have felt for years that most of us in American Christianity use God to solve our problems. In contrast, John of the Cross used his problems to find God.'

"Whatever the problem might be, the most natural thing for a Christian to do is to go to the Bible and ask what biblical principle will help us straighten out our situation."

"When finding a biblical principle that will solve our problems becomes our number one priority, it is far less healthy than it may seem. What it really amounts to is using God to make our life on earth more pleasant. But that's not what God has promised. Hebrews 7:19 explains that keeping the law (doing everything right) to make life more pleasant has been replaced by a better hope. That is to say, there is much more to the life of a Christian than making life work.

"Trying to figure out a biblical approach to dealing with a problem is basically like coming to God and saying, 'All right, You're the Santa Clause; You're the emergency-room physician. I don't want to know You, I just want to use Your Resources."

"John of the Cross exemplified a very different approach to the spiritual journey........His basic thought was, "God, how do I get to know You? I'll pay any price for that!' Here was a man who lived it; he didn't just talk about it. He came to the conclusion that God can literally be experienced at a level of satisfaction that exceeds that of getting our lives straightened out..."

"God introduced the gospel in order to create a race of people who would proclaim to the world that knowing Him is more valuable than anything else. knowing God is the basis of our joy whether He gets us out of prison or leaves us there, keeps us from having cancer or lets us die from it, or keeps our kids off drugs or allows them to become serious addicts. Those things are important, but they're secondary. Primary is knowing Him, and that's the reason for the gospel. Our joy then develops a stability. God is always available though certain blessings may not be.'

"Matthew's book is so important because it presents a clear illustration of a man who lived his life, by no means perfectly, but with the hunger for knowing God dominant in his mind and soul. John of the Cross's life is an example of 'As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God' (Psalm 42:1), and 'One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD and to seek him in his temple' (Psalm 27:4). We modern Christians have changed it to, 'One thing I seek, that you would fix my life and tell me what to do so I can do it to make sure my marriage works.' Perhaps we have misunderstood the
Christian life and therefore read the Bible to glean only principles to make life work."

"When suffering comes, there is a price to pay if we are to discover joy. That price includes discipline and the decision to rest and remain faithful, repenting of all demands that life be different. This simply will not happen without the Spirit's speaking through His Word to quiet our hearts. If we maintain our fast-paced, get-in-quick little devotions in the morning, and quickly run off to church on Sunday morning, the likelihood of developing a deeply spiritual relationship with the Lord is about zero. We have to find time when we can look into our heart and discover that beneath our fast pace, beneath the business deals were closing and the money we make, beneath the good things we do, our hearts have deeper longings. And we will not do that without quietness, silence, and solitude......I am suggesting that you recognize the importance of solitude by scheduling time away. "

"When somebody spiritually directs me, I want that person to direct me not toward figuring out how to be a better husband or a better dad--that is all secondary, though it is important. I will not be a better husband or a better dad until I learn to enjoy God more. Otherwise, I would be doing it out of my own strength and in the energy of the flesh. Nothing transforms a person other than encounter with God"

So now one of the main ways he counsels--is to get people to draw near to God--become more intimate with God--not turning to God so God will do things for them, but to enjoy Him. ..and to address the idolatry we have of believing God is not the best thing going--but a solid marriage is or wonderful kids--he tries to deal with the core issue of idolatry in a depraved soul--and to encourage that we "would become consumed with knowing God for His glory and for our satisfaction rather than using God to make our lives more pleasant."

This explains how the persecuted Christians in China, India, Nigeria, etc are willing to linger and die in prison --it is because their intimacy with God is the preeminent thing in their lives.
Posted by nannykim at 9:39 PM 5 comments Links to this post

Love Dare 38

Ok, soooooooo, I am taking more than the time allotted for the Love Dare. I am on Day 38---but sometimes I need more than one day to think about the Dare and to apply it etc. I plan on starting over again when I finish anyways!!

I love the way this dare started ...it said:

"What is something your spouse would really, really, love? And how often do you ask yourself that question?"

I liked the challenge to go to a new level of love that "actually wants to fulfill every dream and desire you possible can." Also the point was good that God is our Model---he is the one whose love we are trying to imitate.

It goes on to say:

"We dare you to think in terms of overwhelming your spouse with love. To surprise them by exceeding all their expectations with your kindness".

What a challenge--what a wonderful challenge. And the funny thing is that I had been thinking that I needed to have the goal of seeking to out-love others----to give them more love than I (think or perceive) I receive---This ties in so well with this whole idea. I love this challenge!

Simple Living ideas

From an online magazine called the Cry that you can find here. In the fall 2005 edition they published the following suggestions on how to live a simpler life:

RELATIONSHIP

Cultivate a closeness with God.
Practice regular hospitality.
Help each other, emphasize service.
Always speak the truth. Develop a habit of plain, honest speech. If you consent to do a task, do it. Avoid flattery and half-truths. Make honesty and integrity the distinguishing characteristics of your speech.
Don’t judge.
Reject anything that breeds the oppression of others.
Consciously seek to identify with the poor and forgotten.
Start by visiting hospitals, prisons and nursing homes.
Schedule “simple” dates with your spouse.
Teach your children.

ACTIVITIES

Make your commitments simple.
Don’t overwork.
Fast periodically from media, food, people.
Elevate reading, go to the library.
Reject anything that is producing an addiction in you. Cut down on the use of addictive, non-nutritional food and drinks such as alcohol, coffee, tea, soda, sugar, chocolate.
Simplify Christmas and other holidays. Develop the habit of homemade celebrations.

PACE AND ATMOSPHERE

Slow down.
Do not exhaust your emotional bank account.
Lie fallow.
Say no.
Control/restrict/eliminate television watching. Turn off or mute advertisements.
Learn to enjoy solitude.

POSSESSIONS AND FINANCES

Cultivate contentment, desire less.
Resist covetousness and consumerism.
Buy things for their usefulness, not their status.
Learn to enjoy things without owning them. Benefit from places of “common ownership” (parks, museums, libraries, rivers, public beaches).
De-accumulate. Develop the habit of giving things away.
Offer others the use of your possessions.
Develop a network of exchange.
Avoid impulse buying.
Don’t buy now, pay later.
Avoid credit cards if they are a problem.
De-emphasize respectability.
Simplify your wardrobe – give away excess.
Learn how to make do with a lower income instead of needing a higher one.

APPRECIATION

Be grateful for things large and small.
Emphasize a joyful life.
Appreciate creation.
Send cards of encouragement and appreciation when others are not expecting it.

SPIRITUAL LIFE

Make the Word central.
Meditate and memorize Scripture.
Pray.
Encourage simple worship.
Shun anything that distracts you from seeking first the Kingdom of God

Seeking Grace in everyday life

(our granddaughter is a gift of grace ;-) have to post pics of her !)

This was a blessed week. I love what happened on Friday and on the weekend especially ---a bunch of God winks.

On Friday I listened to one of Christopher's pastor's sermons. He spoke about seeking and looking for the grace that is evident each day in our lives.---to actively look for it.

Then when I went to pick up Grandpa for his weekly visit to Grandma he was not ready. So as he was readying himself I picked up a book. I found this quote of Frederick Buechiner's that I loved:

"There is no event so commonplace but that God is present within it, always hiddenly, always leaving you room to recognize him or not recognize him...See [your life] for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, and smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments and life itself is grace."

---That tied in with the sermon--looking for the grace in our everyday lives. Then when we went to the nursing home just as we were finishing up the visit two ladies were leaving through the room we were in......They started talking to us and one of the ladies said to gram that she had one stuffed animal left and she was going to give it to gram. An 11 year old boy had donated his animals (which were like new) to give to people at the nursing home. It was such a neat thing for him to do and it was an example of grace reaching outward. Then the lady and grandpa started sharing about Christ's work in their lives---it was so refreshing.

To tie this all together I read this today:

"Attention is also known as mindfulness, awareness, concentration, recollection. It is a primary practice, and not just alphabetically. We must stay alert or we risk missing critical elements of the spiritual life — moments of grace, opportunities for gratitude, evidence of our connections to others, signs of the presence of Spirit. The good news is that attention can be practiced anywhere, anytime, in the daily rounds of our lives.

Begin by doing one thing at a time. Keep your mind focused on whatever you happen to be doing at the moment. It is through the mundane and the familiar that we discover a world of ceaseless wonders. Train yourself to notice details. "

I love it when God wants to teach us something and He hits us from all sides !! So this week my goal is to look for His grace daily--and signs of the presence of the Spirit ;-).

Prayer for husbands and wives--Priorities

All of Stormie's prayers are so good. I thought I would place this one here:

GOD , I proclaim You Lord over my life. Help me to seek you first every day and set my priorities in perfect order. Reveal to me how to properly put my husband before children, work, family, friends, activities, and interests. Show me what I can do right now to demonstrate to him that he has this position in my heart. Mend the times I have caused him to doubt that. Tell me how to prioritize everything so that whatever steals life away, or has no lasting purpose, will not occupy my time.

I pray for my husband's priorities to be in perfect order as well. Be Lord and Ruler over his heart. Help him to choose a simplicity of life that will allow him to have time alone with You, Lord, a place to be quiet in Your presence every day. Speak to him about making Your Word, prayer, and praise a priority. Enable him to place me and our children in greater prominence in his heart than career, friends, and activities. I pray he will seek You first and submit his all to You , for when he does I know the other pieces of his life will fit together perfectly.

It is good to think of priorities and putting my husband before other things in my day--this is a great reminder and a good prayer.

upbeat

Going to go paint--this music by Michael W. Smith gets me in the spirit to work: it is playing first today on the sidebar ;-)

SNOW --YES

Yes IT IS SNOWING THIS MORNING--IT JUST STARTED BUT HERE ARE SOME PICTURES TO PROVE IT ;-) THIS IS THE FIRST REAL SNOW WE HAVE HAD IN MY LITTLE TOWN THIS YEAR. (NOTE: I HAVE MUSIC PLAYING TODAY ABOUT SNOW.

AND THIS MORNING I HAVE ENJOYED THIS FIRE --BUT I HAVE TO GO DO SOME PAINTING AND BRING GRANPA TO THE DOCTORS---SO OUT I WILL HAVE TO GO.

Bath

"There must be a few things

A hot bath won't cure

But I don't know any of them."

Sylvia PLath

How old sites make me feel

I have shown this pic before--but it was a good pic for what I wanted to post about. DON'T YOU ALL GET A STRANGE FEELING THAT COMES OVER YOU WHEN YOU GO TO AN OLD SITE??? WELL, I WAS reading in a book that Grandpa wanted me to get--just a fiction book by Phillis Whitney. She wrote something that describes just what I FEEEEEEL:

"In this place the sense of everything going on and on that I had felt before came again: a fleeting awareness that human pain mattered for less than a moment's breath in time--that others had suffered long before me, and would suffer long after. In a moment my universe would center around me again, as every man's must, but for this little while I was detached--part of a larger picture. There was something freeing about the experience."

That was just how I feel!!! at an old site I realize how connected I am with all of those who have gone before and those that will come after me. I realize how small one human is--a speck---or part of a much larger picture. ......and that is freeing. It also gives me a slightly different perspective on God's ways in history.

Love Dare Day 22

I have continued in the Love Dare book challenge ;-) . I loved day 22 which is where I am right now---this , to me, was very beautiful. It was called Love is Faithful....but it spoke about unfaithfulness.......BUT in a beautiful way.

It referred to the book of Hosea--which is a beautiful book. It spoke about how God told him to marry a prostitute---and the Love Dare book said this:

"He wanted Hosea's Marriage to show what Heaven's unconditional love looks like"
(his wife did not remain faithful)..."So Hosea was left to deal with a broken heart and the shame of abandonment...........God told him to go and reaffirm his love for this woman who had been repeatedly unfaithful. This time she had reached a new low and had to be bought off the slave block, but Hosea paid the price for her redemption and brought her home...

This is a true story and it was also used to portray God's love and favor that he showers on the believer without measure---we are challenged to love our spouse in this way---unreservedly---and undeservedly--repeatedly, enduringly!! I love this quote:

"Love is often expressed the most to those who deserve it the least" "Ask Him to fill you with the kind of love only He can provide, then purpose to give it to your mate in a way that reflects your gratefulness to God for loving you. That's the beauty of redeeming love. That's the power of faithfulness."

I think this is all very beautiful and what a challenge.---I love him as myself since he is part of me and we are one--if I hurt him, I hurt our relationship and myself. Now I am challenged to Love him as God loves me--no matter what---I am to illustrate this love in my loving of my husband----what a challenge.....but I know that God's Spirit does put this love in our hearts to be shed abroad---I know it!!!

woes and joys of dishwash (trite post)

DO NOT USE THE PALMOLIVE PURE AND CLEAR!! It cleans well, but wrecks havoc on my hands!! It dried my hands right up and gave me hangnails which I can not remember the last time I have had!!! (I literally can not remember having hangnails" for years and years" and years , as my youngest son used to say). Now DO USE THE SIMPLICITY --this is great for sensitive hands!!!!!

Bonhoeffer AGAIN

I listened to a sermon by John Piper today, while exercising. He made a statement that hit home --He basically said

that a lot of us want the glory of Jesus but not the cross of Jesus.


I believe this is so true and true of me. Much of Scripture is not easy. There is a cross involved. Life is hard. ....and true discipleship is costly. It makes me think of the book by Bonhoeffer on the Cost of Discipleship--I keep going again and again to parts of this book!!

"Cheap grace is the deadly enemy of our Church. We are fighting today for costly grace....Cheap grace means grace sold on the market like cheapjacks’ wares. The sacraments, the forgiveness of sin, and the consolations of religion are thrown away at cut prices....In such a Church the world finds a cheap covering for its sins; no contrition is required, still less any real desire to be delivered from sin. Cheap grace therefore amounts to a denial of the living Word of God, in fact, a denial of the Incarnation of the Word of God. ......Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.”

The cross is costly and I suppose I am tempted to not want to bare the cross and I am tempted to want an easier road for fellow believers. This of course is wrong---grace is costly, because it comes at the expense of Christ’s death and as Bonhoeffer states , “Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life.”

THE GREAT GENERATIONS MEET

"THERE ARE LIVING PEOPLE WHO ARE DEAD ON THE INSIDE AND DEAD PEOPLE WHO CONTINUE TO LIVE ON IN THE LIVES OF OTHERS....But the most lasting legacy is a passed-down life--replete with values, convictions, character,and love."

Love Dare Day 11, Day 12 and Oneness too

I am sitting here in SC on a cold morning (the picture above, however was taken on a ferry in Seattle). Anyways, back to the subject....I am smiling with contentment---my fire is on and the birds are coming to my window feeder a yard from where I sit. One titmouse just kept staring at me.

I am learning a lot about relationship these days. I think one of the main things I have been reflecting on is the oneness of a marriage relationship. I have always known that God says we become one and let no one put this asunder etc. I felt that real oneness immediately when we celebrated our marriage night. But I never reflected more fully on some of the side issues involved. THE MAIN thing I have been thinking on the past few days is that this ONENESS means that if I hurt my spouse I am hurting myself. Whatever I do---positive or negative--it directly affects me. (to a broader extent it relates to the church and my relationship to it also). So If I am getting angry , for example, it is hurting me and it is as if I am angry at myself. It is like the whole body analogy. If my toe is hurting my whole body hurts and feels it and I need to fix it! The same with my spouse---I need to treat my spouse as part of me.

In day 11 we were challenged to cherish our spouse. I had a hard time of thinking of something practical to show this---but I think one main way is to pray daily, often, fervently, through-out the day for him and for his various needs. The book by Omartian--The Power of a Praying Wife-- has so many helpful prayers and ways to pray for our hubbies!! So that is what I will use through-out the day (often keep this in the bathroom since I go there through-out the day ;-)

Day 12 is about demonstrating love by giving in to your spouse in an area of disagreement. Well, right now there is nothing we are disagreeing on---usually with us, it is small petty things--so I will keep this in mind. I hate putting this down , because then It will providentially PROBABLY be tested soon ;-) .

The Love Dare Day 10

Day ten talks about TRUE LOVE. Our love can't be based on our spouse's qualities or looks because when they suddenly or gradually disappear your basis for love will be over.

So we have to have unconditional love. "...love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love."

If we say we have fallen out of love , it means we did not --do not--love unconditionally!

"When your enjoyment of each other as best friends and lovers is based on unwavering commitment, you will experience an intimacy that cannot be achieved any other way."

Again we are told to do something out of the ordinary for our spouse--something that proves your love is based on your choice and nothing else ;0) . These are the hardest assignments to do---I will have to give it some thought. (Ok--what I did--I washed my car--it really bothers him if my car is dirty ; this is usually his job---so it was totally unexpected. I also remembered he liked the fruit cups we had at Eowyn's so I made him some tonight!! He was delighted ;-)

I love the idea of studying our husbands--and I need to do this---then I would be able to more readily figure out these out of the ordinary stuff!!!

Love Dare 8 and 9

Well....this Love Dare has really been helpful in making me aware of relationship stuff!!

On DAY 8 we had to burn or destroy the list of negative attributes of our spouse which we had made on Day 7 and to keep just the positive list. We were challenged to be our spouses biggest fan, to reject thoughts of jealousy, and focus on their achievements. THEY ASKED--HOW HARD WAS IT TO DESTROY the LIST. Well, I was very, very surprised......why??? because I did have a hard time destroying it!!! I actually was shocked!!!! But it was a great way of physically demonstrating to me that my heart and mind has to dwell in the appreciation room and not the depreciation room!!

DAY 9 made me laugh----because way back on day 2 I couldn't think of an unexpected gesture as an act of kindness---I couldn't think of something UNEXPECTED to do as far as creating a blessing. Later my husband said that he could think of something--and it dealt with how to greet him when he came home from work. SOOO THIS IS THE FUNNY thing because day 9 deals all about how we greet our husbands!! Day 9 says that the way you greet your spouse each day may seem inconsequential, but it carries surprising significance.

"You can tell a lot about the state of a couple's relationship from the way they greet one another"
It mentions things like the first thing you say in the morning, the look on your face, the energy in your voice when you talk to him on the phone, etc and whether you are really , really glad to see them and express this---talks about warmth, enthusiasm etc and how are greeting effects another.

THIS BOOK IS SO PRACTICAL!!!!

Alden Baptism/ papa Birthday/ love dare 7

This was a very sweet weekend. We celebrated a baptism, birthday, and of course Love Dare number 7. Here is Alden waiting for church to start--he always wants to stand (and he is only 5 months!)

He is wearing an old baptimal dress in which his dad and grandad were baptised.

He loves his sister and she was being a sweetie.

He loves his Daddy.

The family was sitting waiting for church to start. Uncle Averett was here, too.

There were a total of three boys being baptized. Alden's name means wise protector.

Here is Rhi with grandpa.

Just being her sweet self.

She was excited to be sitting on the steps that go up to the pulpit, after the service!

Here is Grandmama Ruth enjoying the day.

We had some great pea soup and fruitcups and homemade bread and tea (and some had chicken salad as well!!)

Alden loved all of the people--he was very happy!!

It was Wally's Mom's Dad 's(the greatgrandpa of Alden) birthday--he was 88 today!!

The greatgrandma cut the cake. She gave everyone huge pieces, but she cut herself a tiny piece. There was lots of joking about that!

Rhi said the chocolate was WONDERFUL---as you can tell by her expression. Family is such a blessing and times of special occasions are so delightful. It is wonderful to see many generations who love the Lord and to look foward to many more generations that will enjoy God.

Today was also LOVE DARE number 7. (I haven't seen the Fireproof movie--but this Love Dare book is GREAT). Today spoke of 2 rooms in our hearts. The appreciation room where thoughts go when you encounter positive and encouraging things about your spouse. A second room is the Depreciation Room--on its walls are written things that bother and irritate you about your spouse. This chapter talks about love choosing to dwell in the appreciation room . Our assignment today was to get two sheets of paper. On one we had to write the postive things about our spouse and on the other the negative things. (We will use these in the future on other assignments) . Today we had to pick one of the positive things and let our spouse know we appreciated this in them. Also we were asked which list was easier to make and what did it reveal about your thoughts.

I love the practicalness (is that a word?) --of the assignments!!

The Power of a Praying wife/Also Love Dare 6

Love Dare 6 is choosing to react to each circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation---beginning by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule (to lessen stress which can cause irritation). Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life etc This tied in well with another book I am reading--the Power of a Praying wife.

Stormie Omartian books on prayer are so helpful. I have noticed that all of the books I am reading on Marriage and relationships deal with working on me, myself and I. I love how Stormie has prayers at the end of each chapter. So in this book there are 30 --ie one for each day of the month. I think I will share some if not all of the first prayer (This one ties in so well with not responding in irritation) Paragraphs are not working so I will color them:

"Lord, Help me to be a good wife. I fully realize that I don't have what it takes to be one without Your help. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things. Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with Your battering ram of revelation. Give me a new heart and work in me Your love, peace, and Joy (Galatians 5:22,23). I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment. Only You can transform me.

Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my husband. I confess the times I've been unloving, critical, angry, resentful, disrespectful, or unforgiving toward him. Help me to put aside any hurt, anger, or disappointment I feel and forgive him the way You do---totally and completely, no looking back. Make me a tool of reconciliation, peace, and healing to this marriage. Enable us to communicate well and rescue us from the threshold of separation where the realities of divorce begin.

Make me my husband's helpmate companion, champion, friend, and support. Help me to create a peaceful, restful, safe place for him to come home to. Teach me how to take care of myself and stay attractive to him. Grow me into a creative and confident woman who is rich in mind, soul, and spirit. Make me the kind of woman he can be proud to say is his wife.

I lay all my expectations at your cross. I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only You, Lord are perfect and I look to You to perfect us.

Teach me how to pray for my husband and make my prayers a true language of love. Where love has died, create new love between us. Show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate it in a way he can clearly perceive. Bring unity between us so that we can be in agreement about everything (Amos 3:3). May the God of patience and comfort grant us to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus (Romans15:5). Make us a team, not pursuing separate, competitive, or independent lives, but working together, over looking each other's faults and weaknesses for the greater good of the marriage. Help us to pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify anther (Romans 14:19). May we be 'perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment' (I Corinthians 1:10).

I pray that our commitment to You and to one another will grow stronger and more passionate every day. Enable him to be the head of the home as You made him to be, and show me how to support and respect him as he rises to that place of leadership. Help me to understand his dreams and see things from his perspective. Reveal to me what he wants and needs and show me potential problems before they arise. Breathe Your life into this marriage.

Make me a new person, Lord. Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the man You've given me. Help me see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion, and new acceptance. Give my husband a new wife, and let it be me."

The Love Dare ----day 5-daring to be delightful

Well, well, well, day 4 I really wasn't "allowed" to do the action---which was to contact your spouse sometime during the business day and ask how they are doing and if there was anything you could do for them---but I could do it later.

I like day five's reading--LOVE IS NOT RUDE--it is true that we are sometimes rude to each other or do things that make it unpleasant for the other person.--the bottom line--"genuine love minds its manners".----when we apply this it helps to " restore an atmosphere of honor to your relationship. People who practice good etiquette tend to raise the respect level of the environment around them"---so this is the dare not to be rude, but to be delightful.

I thought that was and is a great challenge--to be delightful, not rude. 3 principles the book gives: 1.Guard the Golden Rule. Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated (Luke 6:31)
2. No double standards. Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers. 3. Honor requests. Consider what your husband or wife already asked you to do or not do . If in doubt, then ask.

THe challenge or assignment today: "Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only."

Great advice and I think I know some of the answers I will get, we will see ;-)

Day two and three of the Love Dare

Well, what the love dare book has demonstrated to me so far is that a marriage is like a garden and you have to tend it. Weeds can creep in --and we need to add fertilizer etc.

On day one the assignment was fairly easy--do not say anything negative to the other person. Prevention-or not doing something is easier for me than doing something!

On Day 2 we were supposed to create a blessing---do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness. ........the unexpected part I couldn't come up with.....so I am cheating and combining it with day 3--Day 3 says buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today"--so that is easier and it is an unexpected gesture that is kind.

The little talks before the dare are quite good so far toooooooooooo!

The Love Dare etc

(my paragraph setting is not working tonight!) Both of these books are very helpful and convicting. The Love Dare, I thought would be simplistic, and really it is simple.....BUT the hard part is practicing it. For example on day one it tells you ....."For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, chose not to say anything." On Day TWO it says "In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness."

Well you may think, I don't have a problem with negative sayings. However when you resolve to focus on all you are saying in the day.....you become aware....much more aware then normal on what you are saying and how you are communicating negative things. So I like this Dare book--it puts in in a fun way, since it dares you to try such an such today!!

The second book has been very helpful too---both make me aware of my shortcomings (sin) and areas I need work on. They both demonstrate the need to work on me, myself, and I. They are good to read and think on together.

Other books I have recently read focus on the mentoring of an older adult with a younger adult. I have read 2 that dealt with this and am reading a third. One was an audio book (I think it was called Father John). Then the book called, I'm Proud of You, my friendship with Fred Rogers, by Tim Madigan. The third one is called - Over Salad and Hot Bread, by Mary Jenson. All of these books focus on how one older adult helped a younger adult. These are inspiring.....I love to see the wisdom and examples of older adults.

Adults and Children MIX it up with TEA and FORTS

We had a lovely time visiting the grands and playing like children.......that is the fun part of having kids around......you get to play with all of the toys and pretend again!! Rhi opened her tea set and we had loads of fun with this ---only she insisted on serving coffee. (now her mom drinks tea soooooo she will have to teach Rhianwen that Tea also can be served!)

Wally tried to read the Italian on this box, but he had to resort to the English version---this was from My hubby's bro and wife and it was a raisin/bread/cake thingy from Italy. We were reading how to serve it and it said to put it in a warm place for a while so it could basically spring to life. It looked great and was nice and soft and enjoyed by all (except for me--since I have to be gluten free---I just looked on in Envy---just kidding???)

Rhi loved this little child's accordion and she got it making some swing music.

Yup, she likes the Italy cake thingy!!

She played with these little babes---they are to keep kids busy when going places.

The new Tupperware toy--which we all love playing with.....even after all of these years!!

Pretend coffee for Uncle Skip with grandpa (who was sick along with the grands--all had colds) looking on.

ALden loved all the action!!!

The guys had to use ALL of the LINCOLN LOGS to build a high tower for Rhi to knock over---however she didn't want to----instead she handed potato man's hand to her Dad and asked him to knock it over......which he enjoyed doing!

Then there were multiple fort building opportunities

And Alden had to watch

He is 5 months and can balance a while on his own!

Knocking down forts is half of the fun.

The walled in room was waiting to have a knock down!!Tunnels had to be built and crawled into!!More forts had to be built!Naps in forts had to be experienced!Uncle's napping and having tea in a fort was a wonderful challenge.more tea or coffee/??? had to be served up!!And at the end of the day .....a long trip home and a visit to Greatgram in the nursing home. She was very happy and had Pneumonia---please pray for her recovery if you happen to read this. We took a new way home from NC since 95 was backed up forever!!! 701 was much nicer and we even found coffee for 5 cents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A strange Christmas Day

Christmas eve was a nice relaxed affair. With the boys reading in their books and writing in their moleskins.

Dad was practicing his music for the Christmas eve service (below). It was an awesome service. The Christmas eve service is a highlight of the year for me. It began at 10:30 pm with gorgeous music performed by the choir and violinists, organist, piano, drums, chimes, horn, etc. The choir director broke down during one of the songs--her mom had died recently and she experienced a (not sure what to call it) a feeling of being in the presence of her mom and dad and a glory of what is to come. The entire Choir felt this---it was as if they were in a bubble of glory! The entire service was such a rejoicing of what we have in Christ and his gift to us.

Christmas morning started with a call from the nursing home informing us that Gram was sick with a temperature and was being put back into bed. Sooooo she couldn't come home for a visit. Plus my daughter's kids were sick and they couldn't come. My hubby was feeling like he was fighting a cold also. So we kicked back and slowwwweeeedd down. Opening the stockings slowly and having breakfast around 10:30 or 11!

The above picture is the old one ;-)---geeeeeee (I am looking older than gram!) and the bootso.


A favorite cup was in the stocking!

My youngest modeled his casual look.

My oldest son was trying to smile like Mr. Rogers--since he got a book about Mr. Rogers.

More books and an electric razor (spelling??)

a book for the history buff

Visiting by webcam with Eowyn and kids.

The little ones had colds so they could not be here for Christmas day! Webcam is a blessing!

The little one is in constant motion and teething!

Next we went to the nursing home to see gram

She had lots of goodies and suffed animals to keep her company.

Looking at some photos. She was very much under the weather , but she was "with it"--which is amazing and a blessing.

At the end of the day Grandpa went back to his place, quite tired out. We then had a late dinner of Turkey and fixings. We also watched a really interesting dvd of Israel called Against all odds. This was interesting because it had true accounts that occured in modern day Israel that were quite amazing. One interesting thing was concerning some Israeli troops that were in a mine field. It was important that they get somewhere rather quickly. They couldn't---they had to slowly use their knives to find the wires and mines, when suddenly a strong wind came upon them , uncovering the mines---then a full moon came out and they were able to see all of the mines and wires! There were many other neat true stories of providential happenings that helped modern Israel come into being.

So the day, was quite unlike our normal Christmas Day--but a nice one, none the less. My oldest son, Chip (or Chris), made an anonymous 4 cd (which he read about in the Fred Roger's book--) --it is a Gregorian chant type music , only with women.

Also in the book was the prayer that is called the prayer of St. Francis--which I like, and I will end here , thinking on it:

Dear God, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred , let me sow love,

Where there is injury, pardon,

Where there is doubt, faith,

Where there is despair, hope,

Where there is darkness, light,

Where there is sadness, joy,

O Divine Master,

Grant that I not so much seek to be consoled as to console,

To be understood as to understand,

To be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Lastly--it is in reading books of real people that often bring me to see more of my own sin. The book about Fred Rogers and a friend of His, called "I'm Proud of You, My friendship with Fred Rogers"---showed me a lot about real friendship and unconditional love. Convicting, really.

Nice re-union

Well--my oldest son and I got to spend a little bit of time with my grands (my daughter's two kids). Christopher--my oldest son---just missed all of the Seattle snow and arrived here in NC and SC for 60-70 degree weather ;-). We got to watch the Moppet Christmas Carol (a shortened versions for younger kids)Little Rhianwen had a cold and and a touch of a fever, but she was still quite entertaining. She is demonstrating how to take a necklace on and off here. She had a book memorized, word for word, that she had gotten about a week ago---I couldn't believe it!!Christopher got to spend some time with Alden boy-. This little guy is the tigger---always moving and kicking those little legs. He is 16 1/2 pounds of motion--I was worn out trying to hold this strong little bundle!!

I do not know how my daughter manages it--these 2 kiddies are a lively handful!! It was a neat time!

Now we are enjoying some 72 degree weather!! WOW!!!

What could Finer be????????/

Going to see the above grandchild---and as one ole movies states---What could Finer be???!! I stole this picture of her from one of her Aunt's photos!! I call her my little Tigger--bouncy, trouncy , and full of fun, fun, fun!!

Old gadget/ show and tell

It is show and Tell at Kelli's http://kellishouse.blogspot.com/

This is a wonderful old gadget I found 2 summers ago in an Antique shop in NC (Hendersonville, I believe). It works like a gem---you put the potato in and push the handle down and out pops the sliced potatoes.

If you bake them in the oven on parchment paper with your favorite spicy seasonings you don't even need oil!! It is one of my favorite snacks. They take about 20 minutes at 425-450 degrees. This is a wonderful time saving little gadget!! (However I always wonder about old gadgets--do they have lead??)

The Wonderous Nancy DREW

I tell you all---I had such an enjoyable evening last night reading this old book. It was originally published in the 30's---although this copy was made in the 90's. I had picked this up at a library book sale and was going to give it as a gift. BUT when I went to wrap it I had to sit down and read it-----I got hooked after just a few pages.

It is delightful if you love mysteries---it brought back so many memories because this series is what began my love for mysteries. I remember going to my little old stone library in the town of Somers, CT. It had neat bay areas and the mysteries were lined up in one of the bay areas. I took out a Nancy Drew mystery (I believe in 3rd grade) and I got hooked on reading the whole series and from then on I couldn't be separated from books.

So reading this book brought me back to my childhood. It was fun to look at the old sketches in the book and think back to old times and old ways. ....like pulling into a gas station and having an attendant pump the gas. Reading about George (a tomboy) and Bess and Nancy---old friends. I hope my granddaughter will one day get hooked"

Of course the book ends with a temptation to read another book: "Bess grinned. 'Didn't I always say that adventure follows Nancy Drew around?'

"And Bess was right, for another exciting adventure awaited her courageous friend, who very soon was to become involved in The Clue in the Diary." !!

Pre-Christmas escape

This was the view we enjoyed this weekend at Myrtle Beach. My hubby and I give this gift to each other before Christmas --a weekend romantic get away for total relaxation.

Normally we go to Charleston, SC. But there were wonderful deals on beach front hotels!! They were half the price of Charleston---and instead of just a room we got a suite--bedroom, kitchen and living room (sleeps 8) for 1/2 the price of a regular room in Charleston. We decided to sleep on the fold down bed which fits into the wall---it gave us this wonderful view. We even cracked the sliding doors on the balcony and could hear the waves on the beach as we slept.

One funny thing however! There is a lazy river pool that was a floor below our room. At 3 in the morning someone turned on something down there which made a huge rumbling noise and the people were talking very loudly over the noise. But it didn't last too long. There were some crazy kids that came one afternoon and they would run from the heated water, outside and into the cold outside water and then back into the heated water. It was in the low 50's so they would scream and hoot as they did this. There is a pirate ship that straddles these pools of water and they would run through the ship. It was quite funny.

We did get in a Christmas Carolina Opry show and an evening of candle light at Brookgreen Gardens. It was wonderful! We even got to see a dolphin this morning in the water right outside our window!! (however when we returned home the infamous neighbor's cat in the post below, managed to spray our second story window again for the zillionth time---what to do what to do???)

VULTURES

The vulture below has just finished eating an entire squirrel entree. It was amazing to watch. Alas, I have a bird feeder out front near the road and every so often a squirrel who has partaken of the seed will get hit by a car. This morning one was hit. This vulture ate everything --skin, bones, and all! Then another vulture arrived, but all that was left was a few tiny tidbits.

What amazed me still further was the neighbors cat (seen below to the left). He had no fear of the birds and they were huge compared to him. You can't tell this by the photo. This is the same cat who climbs a tree and jumps on our roof and goes to the second story widow to spray his urine. We finally got him to stop doing this (which he did every day) by putting out moth balls on the roof next to the window!!!! UGH.

ohnnooooo. We went away on the weekend and when we returned the cat in this picture had sprayed the window again---inspite of the mothballs and studded nails around that second floor window!!! NOW what ????? will nothing stop this beast!!!